Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Life as we know it!

Here's a few pictures from the last year of our life. We've done OUR unthinkable. We have together survived nearly 365 days, a complete year without Blake, my soulmate and Garnett's Daddy. It hasn't been easy or even remotely enjoyable. The past year has been the hardest year of my life, I don't imagine the next will be easy but worth living through.

October: To be honest I have no idea what we did the entire month, I do know Garnett was an alligator for Halloween.

November: Celebrated Garnett's 1st Thanksgiving home and our 1st without Daddy Blake.
December: Christmas, G's 1st spent at home. Our home was quite, still and simple. Chirstmas wasn't Christmas without Daddy Blake.
January: The entire month Garnett
dressed at a SUPER SUPER HERO and we got a new friend, Odie! From the moment Garnett laid eyes on "Owie" he was in love. They were inseperable!

February: We spent a few weeks in Orlando with a friend, played with "Owie" and momma got to enjoy a nigh to herself on the waterfront.

March: We made a 14 hour drive home to attend a memorial service for Daddy Blake. While there we enjoyed sometime revisiting our old home and friends.
April: This may have been the 1st month that I can recall events that occured without looking at pictures or videos. April was filled with many doctor visits for Garnett, long waits on momma's end and Garnett mastered his balance bike :)

May: May and its MADNESS!!! May was a busy month, a month of new beginning. Garnett and I started what I guess you would call therapy, there was Easter, and Garnett LIVED in his pool. May was a rather difficult month.

June: June was just June, another day, another month, we survived. June also held Father's Day.

July: July 1st would have been Daddy Blake's 26th Birthday. Garnett spent many hours playing with water beads. More mornings then not we went to the pier for an early morning run and then stopped by the fountain were Garnett just had to put his feet in. Garnett also discovered that veggie sandwiches are pretty tasty.

August: August was an ugly month. We spent more time away from home then we did home. I believe we were both thankful to see August end. "Owie" journeyed onward, Garnett discovered the art of dress-up, we spent several nights at the pier and many mornings playing with "street paint".

September: What a month and its only half over. Garnett has enjoyed driving his tractor through our neighborhood, playing in the rain, riding his bike for hours and we spent a few days in the hospital.

Here's to another year. Many memories. Lots of laughs. Most of all hoping we both find peace, balance, happiness and light.


Friday, June 3, 2011

Mommy Where Is My Daddy?

Like any other morning in our home I stood at the kitchen sink somewhere between 1am & 3am washing dishes. It was something that had to be done so the time meant nothing. I peered through the kitchen window to see my son peacefully sitting in his "rock chair" watching cartoons! Yes thats right 1 in the morning & he is awake. He decides when we start our day, I peacefully accepted that there will be a day when he sleeps but for now we enjoy our EARLY mornings! Thinking about what needed to be done that day & how to make our errans, doctor visits, whatever it may be as fun & peaceful for Garnett I was lost in though only be drown back to reality when a little hand pulled on my shorts and said "Mommy where is MY DADDY?" Now I had spent sometime ponding how I would answer this question. And this wasnt the 1st time he had ask but I knew until I felt safe aswering him he would continue to ask. Do I give details, do I tell him the truth or do I "butter it up" for him. As a parent we want to protect our child from anything that could harm or hurt them so aswering this simple question was a challange but I had finally found a way to explain to Garnett just "where" his daddy was. I placed the dish I was washing in the sink, dried my hands, bent down to his level so he would know I was fully connected to him. I looked my son in the face and said "your daddy is in you. He is in your ears, eyes, nose, arms, legs, heart & soul. Your daddy is half of you & mommy is the other half." I thought to myself "ok I answered him" Garnett just peered at me for a moment & with a sweet, blissful voice replied "AWESOME" and ran off!!! Awesome I thought, how could someone at such a young age find that awesome, nevertheless he thought it was awesome & for today he is pleased & at peace with my answer. I know the day will come when Garnett ask again where is daddy is but for today he thinks its awesome that his daddy is in his "ears, eyes, mouth, nose, arrm" No matter where Garnett's father is he will always be in him & he will always be apart of him!!!